The People Mover’s Reign of Terror: A Symbol of Trump’s (Surprisingly) Good Taste

In a rare moment of presidential benevolence, Donald Trump has announced plans to eliminate the Dulles airport people movers as part of a $22.5 billion renovation. This decision is being hailed by design enthusiasts and news outlets alike as a victory for good taste over bad design.

The people mover’s woes are legion. Its existence dates back to the 1960s, when airports were primarily concerned with functionality rather than aesthetics. As air travel expanded, airports grew in size, forcing passengers to trudge long distances while lugging their luggage. The people mover was introduced as a solution to this problem: a motorized “departure lounge” that would transport travelers away from the terminal.

However, over time it has become clear that form and function rarely align in the people mover’s case. Its cramped, vinyl-clad seats are an affront to basic human dignity; its fluorescent lighting is harsh enough to be detrimental to passenger health. Moreover, its speed of 26 miles per hour is slower than most e-bikes.

What sets the people mover apart from other modes of transportation is its sheer ugliness. Its bulbous, box-like design looks like something out of a dystopian novel – and not in a flattering way. It’s as if the architects responsible for its creation took every terrible aspect of mid-century modern design and mashed them together into one unlovely whole.

In contrast, the Aerotrain that serves other parts of Dulles is a model of efficiency and good taste. Its sleek, aerodynamic design zips along at up to 42 miles per hour, transporting passengers with ease and comfort. The Aerotrain represents a more modern approach to airport design, prioritizing passenger comfort over mere functionality.

The people mover’s defenders will argue that it was once considered cutting-edge, but this is precisely the problem. In an era when design was primarily concerned with functionality rather than form, the people mover was a product of its time – and its time has long since passed. It’s a relic of an airport design philosophy that prioritized efficiency over passenger comfort.

Trump’s decision to eliminate the people movers represents a rare moment of presidential empathy – a recognition that even in the most mundane aspects of our lives, there is room for improvement. As we look forward to the renovation of Dulles airport, let us hope that this is not just a cosmetic makeover, but a genuine effort to create a more pleasant and user-friendly space for travelers.

The people mover’s reign may be coming to an end, but its legacy will live on – as a cautionary tale about the dangers of prioritizing form over function. As we move forward into a new era of airport design, let us remember that even in the most mundane aspects of our lives, there is room for beauty and elegance.